It’s easy to think we know ourselves. After all, we live with ourselves day in and day out.
But how much do you know about how others perceive you?
Is there congruence and consistency between the way you think you are and how others interpret you?
It becomes even more challenging as you cross cultures, generations, and genders. Your intention is clear but does it match how others see you?
During my studies at Stanford, I took an insightful classes that focused entirely on sharing reactions and interpretations within a group of 12 people, plus two facilitators. Formally called “Interpersonal Communications” but informally dubbed “Touchy-Feely” it was both the toughest and most transformational class that I have taken across all my studies.
I realized that the way I saw myself wasn’t the way others saw me.
I realized that my shyness was perceived as coldness. My anxiety as superiority. My what I thought was self-deprecating humor was biting. I thought that I was the underdog, but some people perceived me as cold and condescending, even bullying. I wanted so badly to belong, but my behavior pushed others away.
In short, my self-perception didn’t match others’ perceptions.
It was a painful process, because it questioned and changed all that I thought I knew about myself.
It also opened me to tremendous growth, to build an ability to let myself be vulnerable and flexible. An ability to send up a little helicopter during interactions to ask - what am I intending? How am I interpreted? What does s/he intend? How do I interpret them?
Together with a lot of work on my personal vision and mission, it allowed me to open myself more authentically to the world, and better connect to the people in it.
As part of the journey, I explored and investigated many instruments. Some, like DISC and Enneagram, I found interesting but lacking in some way or another. Myers Briggs, especially going into the depths of the Step II instrument, is tremendously insightful. But the Belbin Team Role has become my favorite instrument for several reasons:
It has a 360 element, where you can invite observers to give insight. It’s an Introduction to Touchy-Feely
It is a team role, which is less permanent than personality. Personality, as well as several other key factors (experience, motivation, environment, …) influence a team role, but don’t decide it
It is a helpful but less threatening introduction to self-awareness and gives language and frameworks to understand our strengths and weaknesses, how to communicate about them, and how others perceive them
Throughout the years working with Belbin Team Roles, I have applied them to help many individuals and teams.
One individual, quite early in their career, had a natural tendency towards coordination and leadership, but was not showing it in the current position, primarily as they felt they were too new. On recognizing that the Coordinator was a preferred role but was not perceived by others, they had a conversation in the team and took a Scrum Master role that was missing in the team. This resulted in both the person enjoying work more and the company benefiting from their skills and talents.
Another individual received mostly weakness words of the Shaper role (driving force within the team). By recognizing the feedback and working with methods of influence and communication through coaching and significant self-study, in a new team constellation showed only strength feedback of the Shaper role. They have grown significantly in self-awareness and emotional intelligence, which has resulted in greater external success (promotions and recognition) and also stronger personal relationships and life satisfaction.
One leadership team was struggling in several aspects. By working with Belbin Team Roles, they identified that they had a complete gap in the Completer Finisher role. One team member had been performing in the role, but didn’t like it and was frustrated with the other team members for not contributing. By recognizing and acknowledging the gap in the team, and that all members equally disliked playing that role, they were able to identify the tasks they weren’t performing well and divide them up in a fair and equitable way. This resulted both in the leadership team performing more effectively and in a better spirit of cooperation in their work.
The more we know about ourselves, the better swe can interact with others and bring about good results. While we might wish that our company or group or team would take this step, sometimes it doesn’t happen.
This is why I offer Be Your Best Self for a Better Team. No matter where you work or what you do, you can take the step yourself to learn how groups become teams, how to best work with your strengths and weaknesses, and how and why we misunderstand each other as humans.
By taking the class, you will:
Learn about your strengths and weaknesses through the Belbin Team Role assessment. In the coaching, we will talk about your self-perception and how your observers see you. We will identify specific areas to raise in the team and to work on personally. We will identify areas for further discussion and growth
Understand how groups become teams and what role you can play as a team member to move your team to high performance
Use specific models in team roles, culture, and feedback to be able to build stronger relationships around you You will also meet others on a similar journey and have the chance to learn and grow with them! I hope to see you there.
Sign up now for this two-session workshop!
Leadership Development With Nspir
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